From v4s@FKFANFIC.COMFri Nov 29 00:56:33 1996 Date: Thu, 28 Nov 1996 20:26:37 -0500 From: Virtual Fourth Season To: Multiple recipients of list FKFIC-L Subject: V4S: The Outcast State (01/10) Episode Number: Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season - Episode #3 Episode Title: "The Outcast State" "Air" Date: November 28, 1996 Author: Tigon Diana Hooker Alpha Readers: , Leslie GrantSmith Beta Readers: Sandra Gray, Amanda P. Sridasome, StormyNite, Sara Orel, Rebecca M'Kenna, Amy Volpert Historical Consultant: Elizabeth Ann Lewis Production Management: Dawn Steele Part 1 of 10 The Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season is a project whereby a group of Forever Knight fans are putting together a series of stories continuing from where Last Knight left off. Participation is open to all. For more information, write to V4S@fkfanfic.com. Comments should be sent to the author or to the FKV4S-L mailing list. This story will be available in its entirety as of 11/30/96 by writing to V4S03@fkfanfic.com, or from . This story is based on characters and situations created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen and owned by Sony/TriStar. No infringement is intended. Copyright 1996 Tigon Diana Hooker -------------------------- THE OUTCAST STATE "Tonight, Children, I thought we might visit with the Bard of Avon..." The radio threw a sickly green glow over the dim interior of the Caddie. "Perhaps a reading of one of his better-known sonnets?" Alternately clenching and caressing the smooth steering wheel, Nick peered into the neon-lit world he drove through, eyeing it with the predatory gaze of a bored cop. Beside him, his partner Adam did much the same. "When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes I all alone beweep my outcast state, And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries, And look upon myself and curse my fate Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, Featured like him, like him with friends possessed, Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope, With what I most enjoy contented least; Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising, Haply I think on thee--and then my state, Like to the lark at break of day arising From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate; For thy sweet love remembered, such wealth brings That I scorn to change my state with kings." Natalie looked up at the small radio on her desk, faint surprise evident on her face. There was a slight pause at the end of the sonnet, then the black satin tones of the Nightcrawler reasserted themselves. "Is it any wonder that scholars debate who this imbecile really was? Is it any wonder that the fool cloaked himself in layers of ambiguity to disguise his true identity?" Satisfied that the Nightcrawler was his usual cynical self, and that all was therefore right with the world, Nat returned her attention to the piles of reports on her desk. "We are all outcasts, children...never doubt it. Who among you feels that you truly belong...that you wouldn't be shunned if your deepest, darkest thoughts were known." Nick frowned slightly at the radio, his right hand automatically twitching to turn it off...having been so trained by the jesting stabs of Schanke and the quiet distaste of Tracy towards the show. Flicking his eyes to his partner, however, he saw that Adam seemed oblivious to it. "In the end, your friends will abandon you and love will fail...in the end, you *must* stand alone." -{-{-{@ Nick's eyes darkened, and his thoughts flew unbidden to the past...to Paris, barely out of his first decade as a vampire. He and Janette were drunk...on wine, blood, and each other. They drank and kissed, swirling around the room and giggling happily as they fell on the bed...under the ever-watchful gaze of LaCroix. He emerged seemingly from the shadows and stood over them with an enigmatic expression. The two lovers smiled up at him with a strange kind of innocence as he made his announcement. "It is time, Nicholas." "Time," grinned the fledging. "Time for what?" "Time for our ways to part. Time for you to be on your own." The smiles slipped from both Nicholas' and Janette's faces. "LaCroix..." began Janette. His pale eyes stilled her words. "*We* will leave tomorrow." Then the cold gaze shifted to Nick, "You may either stay, or follow your own path, but you *will* follow it alone." -{-{-{@ Nick blinked hard at the memory, and his fingers crept toward the radio switch. "Don't," said Adam. "This is interesting. My sister probably could get tenure writing a psyche profile on this guy." Unwillingly, Nick pulled back his hand. "What fool would suggest that the memory of a fleeting emotion be worth more than wealth and power..." Entranced, her reports shoved aside, Nat listened as she repeatedly dipped a tea bag into a mug of steaming water. Raising it to her lips, she sipped...and shuddered in shock at the taste. It was thin and bland where it should be thick and salty, and *too* hot. Gasping, she inhaled the mouthful and began hacking and choking. Grace entered just in time to catch the last act of the stunning performance. Placing a greasy bag on the counter, she snapped off the radio and tsked at the red-faced Natalie, "I swear...it seems that every time I see you, you're trying to breathe and drink at the same time. *Slow down*, girl." She then eyed the radio, "And *stop* listening to Mr. Morbid, for God's sake." Eyes still streaming, Nat began pawing through the contents of the bag. Pulling out a large order of fries, she retrieved a bottle of ketchup from her desk and apparently attempted to recreate a scene from a horror movie. Grace, having rescued her own chicken salad from the bag, watched the Toronto French Fry Massacre with a wonder that hadn't dimmed from seeing it reenacted almost every night that week. "Natalie...we *have* to talk." "Mmrrph?" Nat mumbled through chipmunked cheeks. "Well," Grace answered, "look at you. You either gag on your food or bolt it like it's trying to get away from you. What you *do* eat is junk, and you've lost weight." Grace grimaced for a moment, "Not that *I* wouldn't kill for that ability." Nat swallowed and started to speak, only to have Grace continue by indicating the stacks on her desk. "Your caseload is backing up, and you look like a seasick sailor whenever you have to deal with our 'clients.'" "Grace, really...I'm fine," Nat stated, lying through her teeth. What was she supposed to say? 'I was bitten by a vampire and spend half the time thinking I'm becoming one, and the other half trying to figure out how to cure the vampire who bit me?' "Bull!" Grace retorted. "You need a vacation. You were *long* overdue for one before all the crap that's happened to you lately. You need to pick up all that piled up overtime and hit a beach somewhere." ~And dissolve into a pile of ash?~ a corner of Nat's mind asked. Pushing the thought back, Nat attempted to find a rational argument against her friend. "Grace...really..." The phone rang, coming very close to reaffirming Nat's faith in a higher being. Snatching at it as if it were a life preserver, she half-gasped her name as she put it to her ear, "Lambert!" As she listened she nodded, then said, "I'm on my way." She mumbled hurried excuses, grabbing her bag and coat up as she beat a retreat towards the door. "Think about it, Nat," Grace doggedly called after her. "You need to regroup!" ******* (to be continued) -------------------------------------------- For more information or to participate in the Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season, write to V4S@fkfanfic.com. From v4s@FKFANFIC.COMFri Nov 29 00:56:40 1996 Date: Thu, 28 Nov 1996 20:26:46 -0500 From: Virtual Fourth Season To: Multiple recipients of list FKFIC-L Subject: V4S: The Outcast State (02/10) Episode Number: Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season - Episode #3 Episode Title: "The Outcast State" "Air" Date: November 28, 1996 Author: Tigon Diana Hooker Part 2 of 10 This story is based on characters and situations created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen and owned by Sony/TriStar. No infringement is intended. Copyright 1996 Tigon Diana Hooker -------------------------- Natalie spent the brief drive to the crime scene in brooding silence. Grace, she knew, was more than right... yet Nat couldn't see herself just picking up and taking off for fun in the sun. Even forgetting her lately-developed fears about the sun, Nat wasn't altogether certain that she could handle the *fun* part. Her fears took to a different path, however, as she saw the telltale flashing of blue and red lights up ahead. She took a suddenly sweaty grip on the steering wheel and sternly ordered the churning in her stomach to stop. ~What would it be this time?~ Nat worried. ~How much blood?~ She pulled up behind a police cruiser, noting Nick's Caddie parked nearby. Her stomach did a different kind of churn at the sight of it, and Nat mentally steeled herself to see him. Part of her still loved him with a power that frightened her, yet in an epiphany she had come to realize that a part of her was also growing to hate him...not only because of what recently had happened, but also because of what his mere presence and the knowledge of what he was had done to her life. Where would she be now if not for him? Married? A mother? Where would she be in the future because of him? Dead...or something worse? Shuddering slightly, she exited her car and followed the bustling blue uniforms, suddenly struck by their resemblance to worker ants. The scene was in a cramped alley behind a camping supplies store. "Nat?" A light touch at her elbow and the mild rush of adrenaline at the sound of his voice identified the speaker before she turned around. Nick's blue eyes were serious...all business...and lacking the laughing light that never failed to flutter her heart. For this, Nat was utterly grateful. "Hello, Nick, what have you got for me?" Her voice was cool and professional as she gently pulled away from his touch. A brief flash of pain flickered in the blue depths, and she fought a sudden urge to reassure him, to hold him. Just as suddenly, the urge was replaced by the desire to hit him for expecting so much from her...for daring to think he deserved more than common professionalism. Reading the play of conflicting emotions that crossed Nat's face, Nick hooded his own expression and voice, shifting them back to the matter at hand. "Craig Glynnson, age twenty-one, and an employee of this store, according to his ID," Nick rattled off, seeking escape from his own confusion in the comforting facts. "A patrolman noticed the lone car in the parking lot and found him near the back door ...apparently he was responsible for locking up tonight." "Theft?" queried Nat, also grateful for the refuge of work. Shaking his head, the low streetlamps flickering off the gold of his hair, Nick replied, "Money is in his wallet, new car in the lot, and despite having access to the store, the killer doesn't appear to have gone in. We're trying to get hold of the owner to come down and verify that everything is still there, though." He frowned. "It's pretty bad...the killer used a sledgehammer. Facial and dental are impossible; we're going to have to go with fingerprinting for a positive ID." Nat blanched and felt her stomach churn again, but stoically followed Nick toward the center of activity. A tarp covered the familiar lump of a body, but the area where the head should be was strangely misshapen. A wide pool of blood extended outward from underneath the tarp as well, and Nat wondered if she really was able to smell it from where she had stopped, or if her mind merely was becoming paranoid. She braced herself and marched the rest of the way to the body, roughly flinging back the tarp for a look. The image of the pulped face, the splintered skull, the pink- gray matter that once contained this person's identity and soul barely brushed her consciousness. All she saw...all she scented...all she *knew* was the blood. Nat stood straight up, staring down with widening eyes. Was her stomach churning from nausea...or hunger? Did the tangy smell of the blood oddly comfort her because of its job familiarity, or because of something much more dreadful...? Unconsciously, her eyes sought Nick as the lights and alley began an unforgiving dance, dragging her down into darkness. Her last thought was oddly relaxed... she didn't have to worry about hurting herself in the fall. Nick would never let her hit the ground. She awoke a scant few minutes later cradled by Nick off to the side. "Nat...Nat..." he crooned over her. Irrationally, she was irritated by the fact that he *had* caught her, and began to struggle up and away from him. "Nat...wait," he told her, trying to help, but only hindering. She tore away from him and stood wavering. Nick also rose, hand outstretched to catch her lest she fall, but not daring to aid her any more than that. "Are you okay?" "Of course not!" she snapped back, wondering why people always asked that same stupid question of the just-injured or ill. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Adam and the others going about the investigation while surreptitiously watching her. Just great. She placed cool fingers to her temples and tried to will the shaking in them away. "Could you have someone drive me and my car back to the lab, please?" "I'll do that," Nick immediately offered. "Though you really should go ho..." "NO!" burst out Nat. Realizing the attention she was drawing, she lowered her voice. "I've had all the help I need from you." This time, she noted with pleased relief, his hurt gaze invoked no sympathy from her. Nick watched as Nat was driven away in her car, his heart still squeezing with a pain and alarm deeper than he had felt in most of his life...deeper than when LaCroix had driven him away. -{-{-{@ The night after LaCroix's startling pronouncement of his exile from the family, Nicholas had sought out Janette. He found her packing forlornly. "Nicolas," she said upon spying him, his name loaded with all her feelings of love and despair for him. He knelt at her feet, taking her graceful hands into his own. "Stay with me, Janette." She shook her head hopelessly. "I cannot." Confusion and pain flared within him. "Then come away with me. We do not need LaCroix if we have one another." She pulled her hands from his and touched his hair lightly, eyes welling with blood-tears. "Ah...but I cannot, my knight. There is so much you still do not understand." Janette's words were much as he imagined a stake through the heart would be. Nicholas rose angrily from the floor, grabbing her hard by the wrist. "How can you do this to me?" he hissed. Her eyes glittered dangerously, but before she could respond, LaCroix's flinty voice said, "That will be enough, children." Automatically, the two meekly faced the tall vampire. "LaCroix..." began Nicholas, uncertain of what exactly to say, how to convince his 'father' not to leave him alone. Raising a silencing hand, LaCroix looked at Janette and asked, "Are you ready, my dear?" Nodding with downcast eyes, she picked up her belongings. "Then we must leave... we have much traveling to do before the sun rises." He motioned her out of the room. Nicholas took a step after her, pleadingly calling, "Janette..." She ignored him, not even turning for a final shared glance. LaCroix's painful grip dug into his shoulder as he spoke a sibilant whisper directly into Nicholas' ear, "She *is* going with me, Nicholas." He released the shorter man and added firmly, "And you *will* go on your own." -{-{-{@ Joe Reese paused outside the lab door, steeling himself for the task at hand. From within he could hear the murmur of Grace fussing over Natalie...trying to get her to sit down. Snorting to himself, Reese reflected that she'd probably have as much chance of succeeding as he had of getting the damn water cooler to work. He took one more bracing breath of air and entered with the demeanor of a condemned man. Both women stared at him in surprise, for he was well off his beaten path. Grace had apparently been in the process of trying to force some hot tea down Nat, who, as Reese had been willing to bet, was *not* sitting. Reese met Grace's eyes, wondering if he shouldn't politely ask her to leave for the conversation he was being forced to have with Nat; however, he decided against it. The challenge in Grace's face wasn't worth dealing with. Besides, he was going to need all the help he could get. "Captain," Nat asked with a quizzical expression. "Can I help you?" "Look," he began, "I'm just gonna cut to the chase here. I heard about tonight, and so have your superiors. We've all talked and agreed that you need some time off." Natalie paled. Grace put a supportive hand on her arm. The look she shot Reese, however, was one of relieved gratitude. "That's...that's ridiculous," sputtered Nat. "I have one bad night and suddenly I'm suspended?" "C'mon, Doc. You know that's not how it is." Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Reese continued, "Look...you never should have been allowed back to work after your attack. You *should* have had extended medical leave. Plus, with what happened with Tracy...and your friend..." "I'm fine!" "No you're not! Your work has slacked off, you look like hell, and then there's tonight's little incident." Reese shook his head, "You've been through a hell of a lot lately and you deserve a break. You *need* a break." "Captain, I..." Reese cut her off. "Look, Natalie...I'm sorry, but this isn't a suggestion. You are now officially on leave of absence. For God's sake, go have some fun and get some rest." That said, he beat a retreat for the door, saying over his shoulder, "And get some rest for me, while you're at it." Grace watched Nat and waited for the explosion. It wasn't a long wait. "How *could* they?" She slammed the now lukewarm mug of tea in the sink. Marveling that the mug hadn't broken, Grace replied, "You know they're right." "They tell me I'm falling behind on my work...so go take a vacation? How the hell is that supposed to help me catch up?" Nat pointed to the overflowing desk. "They think *this* is a backlog? Wait another few weeks!" Slumping into her chair, she suddenly deflated, "Oh, Grace, what am I going to do?" "Well, sitting down was a good start." Grace smiled wryly. She poured another mug of tea and gave it to Nat, who sipped slowly at it. "The next thing is to decide where you want to go." The tea was actually soothing to Nat this time, and she reveled in the heat of it as she cradled the mug between her hands. Secretly, she was relieved, though she certainly couldn't admit it out loud. For a spell, things were out of her hands. Strange that, after feeling out of control for so long, somebody else's taking control would lift a burden from her. She took another sip of the tea and said, "I don't know...kick around my place, maybe catch up on some chores and old magazines." Grace rolled her eyes. "You are unbelievable. Vacation...discover the concept. No work, no chores, and definitely NO Toronto." She moved closer to Nat. "Listen to me...you have *got* to leave town, otherwise you'll drift down here to work like a homing pigeon." Nat *tried* to think of someplace she wanted to go. She knew that there was once a time when she had a huge list of exotic and not-so-exotic places that she *had* to visit someday. Unfortunately, she couldn't remember one at the moment. Shaking her head hopelessly at Grace, all she could say was, "I just can't think of anyplace I really want to go to right now." "Girl, you *are* the most burnt out individual I have ever met," Grace tsked. She gazed around the lab as if expecting inspiration from its sterile environment...and remarkably, found it. Nudging aside a stack of files, she disinterred a framed photo from Nat's desk. "What about visiting your family? I'll bet it's been at least a year since you've seen this sweetie." Sensing that she'd struck a nerve, Grace encouraged, "Go on...you know the saying, 'Home is where the heart is.' I'll keep an eye on Sidney for you." Gingerly, Nat accepted the photo of Amy from Grace. It had in fact been nearly three years since she had seen her niece...and that visit had *not* been one she wished to remember, since it was at Richard's staged funeral. Even the picture was last year's school photo. How much had she grown since then? Still, Nat's heart quailed...Amy was so like Richard. Could she endure seeing him living in his child, while remembering how he had died twice, the first time as a hero and the second as a monster? And what about Sara? Surely she had built a new life for herself and her child. Did Sara need Nat to come and bring back ghosts? Nat hesitated, caught in the balance between these fears, and a sudden surprising need to, in a sense, go 'home.' It was there she hovered when Nick burst in. "Nat, I heard." He was across the lab so quickly that Nat narrowed her eyes at the suggestion of vampiric speed, glancing nervously at Grace to see if she'd noticed. Kneeling down by her chair, Nick looked at her with earnest angst, "Wherever you want to go...I have some time off due to me, and I'll take you to anyplace you want." Nat stood up shooting a glance towards Grace, who was watching the spectacle with the misty-eyed gaze of a diehard romantic. Restraining yet another urge to slug him for *presuming* to coddle her, Nat drew herself up to her full height and said with as much dignity as a person who had recently fainted could muster, "I've already made plans, thank you. I'm going to visit my niece and sister-in-law in Vancouver." ~If they don't have objections,~ Nat mentally reminded herself. Trying to rouse Grace out of her match- making stupor, she said, "I'll take you up on that catsitting offer, Grace." Then to whomever cared to listen, since both members of her impromptu audience now stared in mild shock at her sudden zeal to leave, "I have to go pack now...I'll see you in a few weeks." She stormed out of the lab with her heels clacking like rifle shots, leaving her bemused friend and an over- possessive vampire to the uncomfortable silence. ******* (to be continued) -------------------------------------------- For more information or to participate in the Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season, write to V4S@fkfanfic.com. From v4s@FKFANFIC.COMFri Nov 29 00:56:48 1996 Date: Thu, 28 Nov 1996 20:27:01 -0500 From: Virtual Fourth Season To: Multiple recipients of list FKFIC-L Subject: V4S: The Outcast State (03/10) Episode Number: Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season - Episode #3 Episode Title: "The Outcast State" "Air" Date: November 28, 1996 Author: Tigon Diana Hooker Part 3 of 10 This story is based on characters and situations created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen and owned by Sony/TriStar. No infringement is intended. Copyright 1996 Tigon Diana Hooker -------------------------- The gray tabby sniffed suspiciously at the bags beside the front door. "Sidney," Natalie said, suppressing a smile as the startled cat leapt backwards six feet, only to belly- slink forward to examine them once more. "You know," she told him, "Curiosity killed the cat." This time her words did not alarm him as he continued his rapt sniffing explorations. As she sat on the couch in the attentive pose of one who knows that she will be leaping up in any second, Nat enjoyed her cat's antics. How long had it been since he had made her laugh...how long since *anything* had? Curiosity temporarily sated, Sidney came over to rub against her ankles. "Finally getting around to me, huhn?" She buried her fingers in the soft fur around his neck, feeling the rumble of his purr increase as she scratched. "You be a good boy for Grace, okay? She'll come by every day to feed you and clean your litter." Scooping him up, Nat cuddled him close under her chin. "And I bet if you're really good, she might do this, too." A tentative knock sounded on her door, and Nat frowned, wondering if she had somehow missed the taxi's honk. Rising quickly, she dropped the affronted Sidney to the carpet, earning a piercing meow--there was definitely a Siamese in Sidney's lineage somewhere. Nat opened the door, saying apologetically, "I'm sorry. I didn't hear the..." It was Nick. Nat clamped her mouth shut on the remainder of her sentence. Clearing his throat uneasily, Nick said, "Hi Nat. Um, I thought I'd give you a lift to the airport." She stared at him, knowing that the offer was a normal and commonplace part of their relationship, yet feeling an almost childlike irritation rising up nonetheless. "You thought *wrong*!" Nat finally snapped, allowing all her pent-up anger at Nick flow into her words. "I'm perfectly capable of getting there by myself, damnit! So stop following me around like I'm going to break!" Her words and tone were lashing him like a storm, she could see...and perversely she was enjoying his evident pained confusion. She opened her mouth to vent more of her suppressed emotions. A horn blared insistently outside, causing Nat to instead seize her bags. "That's my cab," she told Nick. "If you're going to keep standing there, at least lock up when you leave." Nick watched her stalk out, her chestnut hair flouncing in anger. He stood blinking, reliving each word with a wince. It wasn't the content of what she had said, he realized, so much as *how* she had said it. Gradually, he became aware of Sidney twining around his ankles, and bent down to pick up the small animal. "She left you too?" Nick asked the purring creature. "Don't worry, she'll be back." Even as he reassured Sidney, however, Nick knew that the same might no longer hold true for *him*. He also knew that it would be useless for him to follow her. -{-{-{@ Nicholas had learned that lesson, as he had learned most, from LaCroix. Branded upon his memory was the image of Janette sipping from a tankard, seen through the grubby window of a small village inn. He skulked outside in the shadows, peering upon her familiar features hungrily, reveling in her nearness and cursing the fact that he dare draw no closer. Strong fingers dug into his shoulder with a suddenness that paralyzed Nicholas, ripping him away from the sight within and spinning him hard to the ground. Stunned, Nicholas gazed upward at LaCroix. Ironically, his first thought had been one of happiness...another known and trusted face...but then the reality of his master's raging visage pierced his awareness. Nicholas remained prone, not daring to move or speak. "Nicholas," LaCroix purred in a deceptively pleasant voice. "I didn't expect to find you here. You can imagine my surprise when I felt our bond." The eloquent eyebrows arched upward as he praised, "That was rather intelligent of you...using our bond to track us." Brief hope flared in Nicholas; perhaps his pleased master would allow him to remain. The hope died a violent death with LaCroix's grip at his throat. The older vampire plucked Nicholas from the ground and slammed him easily against a nearby wall, dangling him a foot above the ground. As Nicholas clawed futilely at the death hold at his neck, LaCroix growled, "Fool! Did it not once occur to you that the bond works both ways? That I could feel *you* as well?" Struggling, Nicholas felt the slow wave of embarrassment travel through his body. "Need I say what I will do to you if you persist in following us?" Eyes bulging, Nicholas managed to shake his head. "Good," commented LaCroix smoothly, releasing his hold. Landing hard on all fours, Nicholas rubbed his throat and peered upward though blurry vision. LaCroix started to walk away, only to turn and say in frigid tones, "Hearken to me, Nicholas. You *must* learn to survive alone." -{-{-{@ Nat paid the cabdriver and turned to examine the small house. It was *very* tiny, but well-kept and neat. There was an inviting light in the window, but Natalie hesitated, torn with indecision for the umpteenth time since landing-- she didn't belong here...she should go home. A curtain twitched, and she had the fleeting impression of a blurred face peeking out. Almost immediately afterwards, the front door was flung open as a gangly blonde girl ran out squealing, "Aunt Nat...Aunt Nat!" Dropping her bags, Nat caught the bundle of girlish energy, feeling the young arms tighten around her in a hug that squeezed her breath out. Nat found, however, that she didn't mind, kissing the top of the golden head and saying, "Amy! Let me see how big you've gotten." Obediently, the girl stepped back, beaming happily. Amy was, Nat realized, in that graceless stage between childhood and adolescence...somewhat awkward and uncertain, not a little girl yet not a young woman. She retained her childlike prettiness and showed every indication of becoming a beauty. More importantly, her eyes sparkled with lively intelligence and an evident kind spirit...her father's eyes. The blue eyes also shone with a vague sadness and maturity beyond her years, Nat sorrowfully realized. "Amy," a voice called quietly. "Help your aunt with her bags before we disturb the neighborhood, honey." Nat looked past her niece to see the silhouette of Sara in the doorway. The figure had arms wrapped protectively about itself, and Nat once again felt echoing qualms. Sara sounded so...tired. She shouldn't have essentially invited herself here. Amy grabbed the larger of her aunt's bags. "Oh, that's the heavy one," Nat warned. "Why don't you take the smaller?" "I can carry it, Aunt Nat," her niece said confidently. Watching as Amy did just that, Nat marveled at the inherent strength of youth as she followed, toting her small bag. Sara gently closed the door behind them, shutting out the cold November night and sealing them into a homey, brightly lit world. As she carefully locked the door, she commented, "It's not a bad neighborhood, but it's not the best either." Looking at her daughter, Sara asked, "Amy, would you take Natalie's things to her room, please?" Amy gave her mother a kiss on the cheek. "Sure, Mom." The two women watched the girl wrestle the luggage towards the back of the house. "She thinks she has to take care of me," explained Sara. Now that they were in the brightness of the house, Nat could see the strained look on Sara's face. She felt another moment of consternation before she realized that the lines were too deeply etched to be the result of Nat's visit alone. Nat didn't know whether to be relieved or concerned. "We could have picked you up," Sara said. "You didn't have to take a cab." Shaking her head, Nat replied, "I've imposed on you enough by coming on such short notice." "It's not an imposition," Sara stated. Perhaps seeing the doubt in Natalie's eyes, she tentatively placed a hand on Nat's arm and repeated firmly, "It's *not* an imposition, really, Nat. You're family." Her throat tightening with unexpected emotion, Nat whispered, "Thanks," then just as unexpectedly found herself hugging Sara. The two women shared the embrace and let it dissolve any residual uneasiness. They broke off the hug when they heard Amy coming. "I put the bags away and got out an extra blanket." Sara smiled at her, for a moment the strain dropping away as her face lit up with love for her daughter. "Thanks, sweetie. Now I know you want to visit with your aunt, but it's already past your bedtime..." "Awwww..." "You get to have her all to yourself tomorrow," reminded Sara. "Okay," Amy sighed resignedly. "Good night, Mom." She kissed her mother and then went to Nat and gave her a kiss as well. "Good night, Aunt Nat. What do you want for breakfast?" A bit confused by the sudden change of subject, Nat could could only stammer, "Uh...breakfast?" "Yeah," her niece answered brightly. "Eggs, pancakes, what?" Sara gave Nat a rueful grin. "Amy insists on making sure I eat a decent breakfast every morning...just like her father used to." Remembering Richard's monster breakfasts, Nat smiled sadly back at Sara. "I'll just have what you usually make." A brief flare of disappointment flashed across Amy's features, and Nat quickly amended, "Unless, of course, you can make waffles like your dad used to." The face brightened as Amy nodded, then disappeared off to bed. "Sometimes I wonder who's mothering whom," Sara commented reflectively. Nat, feeling distinctly mothered herself, could only nod in agreement. "Do you want some tea, or something?" queried Sara. A bit later, ensconced on a couch with their tea, they began the process of catching up. Sara, as Nat already knew, was an administrative assistant at the University of British Columbia. Not a glorious, or even well-paying job, but when combined with Richard's death benefits it was enough for a single mother and child to scrape by on. Most important, Sara pointed out, was that it allowed enough flexibility for her to be home by the time Amy was done with her extracurricular activities. Nat was enjoying the chat, but felt a growing tension as she waited for the inevitable 'other shoe' to drop, as she knew it must. Finally, Sara turned to the dreaded subject. "You look so tired...are you still recovering from the...attack? Is that why you came here so suddenly?" "No, no," Nat sputtered. "I'm just long overdue for some time off, and even longer overdue for a visit with you two." "We would have come out when it happened, but almost as soon as we found out, you called and told us not to bother." Sara sipped her tea, looking vaguely confused. "They told us at first that you were in critical condition, and could have permanent damage." "Well...uh, sometimes these things look more serious than they are," said Nat. "Unfortunately, some first-year resident with an overactive imagination probably called you." "Actually, it was a police captain named Reeves." "Reese," Nat automatically corrected, then improvised lamely, "Well, he was probably *repeating* what an over- imaginative resident told him." Desperately looking for a change of subject, she asked, "But how are you doing *really*? You look so drawn." Sara blanched slightly. "I know it's been a few years, Natalie, but I still miss him." "I'm sorry." Inwardly berating herself for her insensitivity, Nat contritely suggested, "Have you looked into support groups?" Abruptly, Sara stood and paced around the small living room, agitated. "Yes," she replied, hugging herself tightly. "What happened?" Sitting back down, Sara looked at Nat with shadowed eyes. "We were supposed to talk about how losing our spouse made us feel...explore that time." It sounded horrible to Nat, but typical. "And...?" she gently prompted. "And...I started having dreams. Nightmares. In them, Richard was a monster who tried to kill me, but then is somehow killed before he can." Eyes brimming with tears, Sara looked with guilty horror at Nat. "You must think I'm horrible for this. My God! What would Amy think if she knew?" Nat awkwardly wrapped arms around Sara, who promptly began sobbing into Nat's shoulder. Murmuring inanities, her mind whirled. Sara remembered! Nick's hypnosis hadn't completely done the job. Granted, it was only her subconscious now, but what if Sara *truly* started to remember? Could Nick hypnotize her again? Nat quailed at the thought, mostly because she resisted asking anything of Nick again. Should *she* tell Sara the truth, before Sara might remember it on her own? No, Nat decided. Sara had been, and was going through, quite enough. "Listen to me, Sara." Sara almost immediately stopped crying and did so as Nat continued as persuasively as possible, "It's just dream symbolism... anger that Richard died and you were left alone. It's quite common and nothing to worry about." Nodding gratefully, Sara said, "Symbolism, yes. I hadn't thought of that." Smiling encouragingly, Nat continued, "You really should find another group, but one that doesn't push you." "I'll do that, you're right." Nat was suddenly incredibly tired. "If you don't mind," she yawned, "it's been a long trip." "Of course, I'm sorry." Sara jumped up and led Nat back to her bedroom. "I hope you don't mind, but you'll be in Amy's room. She'll sleep with me." "Oh no...I didn't mean to take her room." "It's better than the couch," Sara smiled. "Besides, it was Amy's idea." Her tone said that once Amy had an idea, it was not worth arguing. She left Nat in a room that still had the matching pink furniture of childhood combined with posters of what must be the latest fad in teen idols. Smiling at the sheer normalcy of it, Nat commandeered the bed from a pile of stuffed animals and settled in for what she hoped would be her first decent night's sleep in longer than she could remember. As her eyes where sliding shut, however, a sudden thought sent a flash of cold through her body. Had she just hypnotized Sara? ******* (to be continued) -------------------------------------------- For more information or to participate in the Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season, write to V4S@fkfanfic.com. From v4s@FKFANFIC.COMFri Nov 29 00:56:55 1996 Date: Thu, 28 Nov 1996 20:27:25 -0500 From: Virtual Fourth Season To: Multiple recipients of list FKFIC-L Subject: V4S: The Outcast State (04/10) Episode Number: Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season - Episode #3 Episode Title: "The Outcast State" "Air" Date: November 28, 1996 Author: Tigon Diana Hooker Part 4 of 10 This story is based on characters and situations created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen and owned by Sony/TriStar. No infringement is intended. Copyright 1996 Tigon Diana Hooker -------------------------- Joe Reese parked his car and grimly approached the scene. He remembered the days when he thought that being a captain meant he would no longer have to flatfoot it out to a murder, but he had long since abandoned that concept. In this case, his presence was part damage control, part visual aid to remind his men and women that 'Big Brother' was watching...get your butts in gear on this one. It was PR, it was political, and Reese hated it. Already a lone scavenger had found the place. Flashbulb flashing almost as much as his mouth and press credentials, the third-rate reporter fired off questions. "Captain...is this related to the murder a few days ago? Is it true that poison ivy was found at both scenes? Are there any other connections between the victims? Captain? What's being done to find the killer?" Reese irritably waved the man off and signaled to a patrolman to hold him back. Sighing heavily, he realized that there was a gushing leak somewhere in his department, and wondered if the reporter had actually been notified before *he* had been. The hack was right though, another sprig of poison ivy was found. Reese winced as visions of 'Poison Ivy Killer' headlines danced in his head. There probably would be a mob of reporters from both the print and electronic media before he finished perusing the scene. "Just great," he muttered. "I'm sorry, Captain?" came Knight's quizzical voice. The detective had appeared silently beside the captain, in that damned spooky way of his. Still...it was a good quality for a cop to have, considered Reese, as he controlled another wave of irritation. "Just thinking about dealing with *another* maniac, Knight." Seeing to the heart of the matter, Knight wryly asked, "The murderer or the media?" Despite himself, Reese chuckled. "What do we have? I suppose it's too much to hope for a copycat." "Considering there was little, if any, coverage of the first one, I doubt it," answered Knight. "We've got a woman this time...a grad student living off campus. The murderer got her in her apartment parking garage and she was found by another resident. Been dead for barely an hour, according to the ME." They were approaching the body, the sea of blue unconsciously parting for their captain. Reese braced himself for his first sight of the corpse, something he still had to do after years on the force, not to mention his time in 'Nam. "Any obvious connection between the two victims yet?" Shaking his head, Knight answered, "Nothing from a quick scan of computer files...no common schooling, jobs, or arrest records. The neighbors we've questioned don't recognize the picture of Glynnson and say that they've never heard this victim mention camping. They're roughly the same age, but other than that and the poison ivy..." "Keep digging," ordered Reese, then motioned for Sakai to pull back the tarp. "Bettina Patel, age 22," Sakai stated as he did so. Reese looked at the bloody triangular-puncture wounds that dotted the woman's upper torso and head. "That's not from a sledge." "Pick," said Knight. "We found it tossed to the side, under a car." "Jesus...another maniac. Why does it seem like every time I turn around there's another one." Reese sighed. "Well, I guess I'd better go make a statement. I want this solved...yesterday!" **** Vancouver was lovely, particularly when it was seen through the eyes of a child. Amy, with the innocent assumption of all children that what interested her should interest her aunt, had given a somewhat eclectic tour. Sara, who had to work, had allowed Amy to take a day off from school in order to settle Natalie in and show her around. They started off with Amy giving Nat a thorough tour of the neighborhood, the girl pointing out her school, favorite park, friends' houses, and so on...then went on to some of the city's better-known sights. Nat was amazed at the knowledge Amy had of her home, and at what interested her niece. Somehow, Nat still thought of her as a small child who wanted to be a princess when she grew up, not as an adolescent who knew the planetarium like the back of her hand, and who commented on the architectural styles of Gastown, the original center of Vancouver. Besides the historic preservation, Gastown also contained a number of antique shops and art galleries that fascinated the girl. Watching Amy as she enthused over another painting, Nat asked, "Do you want to be an artist?" "No," she replied, then corrected herself, "well, yes. But I haven't the slightest talent." Examining the painting, which looked like someone had *sneezed* paint onto the canvas, Nat critiqued, "Neither did this person." Amy gave her aunt the mortified look that the young reserved for their embarrassing elders. "Aunt *Nat*!" "Sorry, sorry..." Nat held her hands up in apologetic surrender. "So what do you want to be? Or have you decided?" Leading her aunt back outside, the girl shrugged, then said, "Maybe an astronomer." Nat thought of how knowledgeable she had been at the planetarium, and nodded. She was somehow relieved that her niece didn't plan on a job in law enforcement...it had definitely not been a good choice for either Richard or Nat. Maybe Amy would break the cycle of bad luck. "Or," the girl interrupted Nat's reverie, "perhaps I'll become an architect." Amy gazed at the historic buildings of Gastown. "I could save buildings like these...save history so that kids like me can see it hundreds of years from now." Looking into her niece's blue eyes, Nat was poignantly reminded not of her brother, but of Nick when he spoke of times long past. Suddenly, she wished there was a way that she could introduce Amy to that piece of living history. Shaking the ridiculous idea from her mind, Nat instead said, "That's an admirable intent." "Yeah, well..." the girl seemed embarrassed, then pinned her aunt with earnest blue eyes that *did* remind Nat of Richard. "It's just that I think I should do something that's not just for me, but for everybody. No...I'm not saying it right." Amy chewed on her lip and tried to find words. "It's...it's like I should *give*, not take. Daddy used to say that if everyone would stop worrying so much about what they could get, and start worrying about what they could give, the world would be much better." Natalie stared at the living reincarnation of her brother, the white knight, and felt her eyes mist. She hugged Amy and said, "You're already doing a pretty good job, kiddo." Amy hugged back just as fiercely, then noticed Nat's unshed tears. "Aunt Nat?" she asked worriedly. "It's okay...you just remind me so much of your father." "That's what Mom says." Amy's face fell. "It makes her sad, too." "Oh, no," Nat hugged the girl to her again. "No, Amy, *no*." Releasing Amy, she tilted her niece's chin upward. Firmly holding Amy's gaze, Nat said, "*You* don't make your mother sad. It's difficult to explain, but it's a good thing to see your father in you...it means a part of him is still alive. If it makes her sad, it's just because she's sorry he's not here to see it himself." Amy looked down thoughtfully, then back up at her aunt. "I understand." Nat felt a sudden fear grip her heart. Had she just hypnotized Amy, now? Seeing the flicker of alarm across Nat's face, the girl said, "Aunt Nat?" The concern in Amy's voice broke through the recriminating reverie, and looking into the innocent face, Nat reached an instantaneous decision. ~To Hell with it,~ she thought. ~As long as I don't *try* to do it, and as long as it's *helping* people...so be it!~ For all Nat knew, she was just naturally persuasive. After all, she *had* once convinced a vampire that she could cure him. Her life was complicated enough without having to obsess about whether or not she was hypnotizing everyone who listened to her. "It's nothing," she reassured Amy. "I was just thinking of something else." They resumed walking, with Amy surreptitiously studying her aunt. Finally the girl asked, "Were you thinking about what's made *you* so sad? It's not just Daddy, is it?" Startled, Nat replied without thinking, "No...it's not just your father's death, though that's part of it, I suppose." "I thought so," Amy nodded. "Is it when you were attacked?" Nat blinked at the forthright bluntness of youth. "Yes," she reluctantly agreed. "That's a large part of it, too." This time Amy blinked. "There's *more*?" Restraining an urge to laugh at her niece's incredulous tone, Nat nodded with mild embarrassment. "What else?" "Well..." Nat looked away. She felt a gentle touch on her arm and turned to find Richard's earnest eyes on her again. "Aunt Nat," Amy said softly. "Didn't you come here to be with us so that we could help you?" She was right, Nat realized. Still, as frighteningly mature as the youngster could be at times, how much could Nat really tell her? She decided to start with the basics. "The past few years, I've lost a lot of people...starting with your father. I also lost my Goddaughter..." "Cynthia?" Nat had forgotten that Amy and Cynthia had once met, and would have gambled that Amy had too; they had been so young. She nodded, startled. "I remember her...she had a really neat old doll that had belonged to her grandmother. Mom told me about it when it happened." "She did?" Nat wondered just how much Sara had told Amy. "I saw it on the news, and Mom talked with me about it." The girl looked vaguely sick. The news...it figured. "I also lost some good friends a year ago, a captain and a police officer I worked with." Before Amy could ask, Nat added, "They were killed in a plane crash." Nat thought about Cohen, whom she hadn't known as well as she would have liked to, and Schanke, who had taken more than a little getting used to, but was the salt of the earth. "They both had daughters around your age," she added, almost reflectively, wondering at a world that was leaving so many girls without a parent. "Maybe I should write them," said Amy almost to herself. "After all, I lost my dad more than a year before they lost their parents. I know what it's like, and what they may have to deal with." Amazed anew at her niece's gentle kindness, Nat replied, "I think that might be very nice." They walked a few minutes in silent thought. "Anything else?" Amy almost whispered, already somewhat overwhelmed at the toll Nat ticked off. Deciding that the girl now knew most of the worst, Nat went ahead and finished. "Another old friend, whom I *hadn't* really seen in a while, killed herself and left a suicide note addressed to me. That same night, another detective I knew was killed, and I was...attacked." Amy was now very pale, and Nat berated herself for having overburdened the child. "Wow," her niece finally said after a minute. Then she set another seeing gaze upon her aunt. "But that's not all, is it?" Nat wondered who was unnerving whom more. She thought about it for a moment, then told Amy, "Yes, there is. I'm not going into the details, but there was a man I...cared... about." Nat thought about Nick, then firmly told herself as much as she told her niece, "But it's over; it just didn't work out." Nodding again, Amy finally said, "I'm sorry, Aunt Nat. About everything." It was a simple statement...one from somebody who had no role in the misfortunes visited upon Nat, one that didn't solve any of the resultant problems. Yet the sincerity in it, combined with the fact that Amy actually moved *closer* to Natalie rather than running screaming away from the 'walking death magnet,' as Nat had lately begun to self- pityingly think of herself...finally began a healing of some of Nat's unclosed wounds. "Thank you," she said, putting an arm around Amy. "Aunt Nat?" Amy asked after they had strolled another block. "Hmmm?" "If...um....so many of your friends have died..." The girl seemed embarrassed at her lack of tact, but forged on. "Uh, how many friends do you have left in Toronto?" Nat thought of Nick, but firmly pushed him from her mind. Who did that leave? Reese? No, she never saw him outside of work. It left only Grace, and Nat only *rarely* saw her socially, though not from Grace's lack of trying. "One," she answered, "But we don't get together too much except at work." Amy frowned in dismayed disbelief at her, then asked, "Why don't you move here? You should be near people who love you." Almost, Nat responded with an automatic 'but I can't do that.' Almost, but not quite as the reality of her niece's words sunk in. What was holding her to Toronto? A job that made her sick? A vampire who nearly had killed her? Memories of dead friends? There was nothing to hold her there, she realized, and every reason to leave. Nat tightened her arm around her niece, and imagined being able to see her as often as she liked, to be able to watch her grow up, and to go on these little aunt/niece excursions like today. "That's...a good question," Nat told her anxiously watching niece. "A very good question." She considered all the ramifications, though, and continued, "There's a lot of things to deal with, though...a job for instance." "Work at the University like Mom," Amy suggested. Nat blinked. She *could* very well teach...she had the necessary qualifications and credentials. She had even taught some night courses in the past...before Nick had entered her life. It might also solve her current job problem; teaching usually didn't involve bloody murder scenes. The most she might have to deal with was a well- formaldehyded corpse. "I could do that," she said thoughtfully. "Then you'll do it?" Amy squealed hopefully. Not wanting to put false hopes into a child who already had seen too much hope die, Nat said, "I'll look into it... there may not *be* a job for me at the university. There may not be a job for me in all of Vancouver." Amy's face fell, but she nodded in understanding. "Plus," added Nat, wanting Amy not to give up hope altogether, "I'd have to find a place to live. I can't stay in your room forever." Grinning, Amy said, "I wouldn't mind." "Weeell," Nat grinned back, "I have this pushy cat who needs his own space." Amy laughed. "Maybe you can live in Gastown." Nat looked around, and found that she liked that idea quite a lot. ******* (to be continued) -------------------------------------------- For more information or to participate in the Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season, write to V4S@fkfanfic.com. From v4s@FKFANFIC.COMFri Nov 29 00:57:02 1996 Date: Thu, 28 Nov 1996 20:27:40 -0500 From: Virtual Fourth Season To: Multiple recipients of list FKFIC-L Subject: V4S: The Outcast State (05/10) Episode Number: Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season - Episode #3 Episode Title: "The Outcast State" "Air" Date: November 28, 1996 Author: Tigon Diana Hooker Part 5 of 10 This story is based on characters and situations created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen and owned by Sony/TriStar. No infringement is intended. Copyright 1996 Tigon Diana Hooker -------------------------- By the next evening, Natalie was plagued by doubts. Her whole day, woefully empty since Amy was back in school, was filled with thoughts of her moving to Vancouver. She worried about her job, she worried about Grace, and despite herself, she worried about Nick. She also worried about what had originally driven her here. What if she *was* changing? Should she take the chance of subjecting Sara and Amy to the possible results? While Nat fretted, Sara arrived home from work. She had earlier arranged for Amy to eat at her friend's house so that she could take Nat to Robson Street, or Robsonstrasse as the locals called it, for a nice dinner out. Located downtown, Robsonstrasse was packed with European import shops and eateries. After a leisurely window shopping of things neither one of them would ever be able to afford, Sara gave Nat the choice of restaurant. Having chosen Northern Italian cuisine, Nat perused the menu for something 'safe' for her uncertain appetite. Sara had long since chosen her entree and sat patiently awaiting Nat's decision, as did the waiter. Finally choosing a bland pasta dish, Nat looked uncertainly at the glass of wine that had been poured for her. "Are you okay?" asked Sara. "Don't you like red?" Nat stared into the ruby depths of the glass, an image of Janette sipping from a similar glass at the Raven flashing through her mind. "No, red's fine," she assured Sara, taking a sip to prove it...and gagging. Embarrassed, Nat mopped up the spilled wine as the waiter rushed over to help. "It's okay, really," she told everyone. "It just went down the wrong pipe." A moment later, with a refilled glass, she stared hard at the ruby liquid and firmly programmed her mind. ~It's wine, not blood...don't be surprised!~ This time she was able to sip it. Sara still watched with concern, however, and asked tentatively, "Nat? What's really going on?" For a bare second, Nat was afraid she was asking about Richard, and froze. "You've hardly eaten anything since you've gotten here, and you've lost a lot of weight. Are you okay?" Nat wondered what was going through Sara's mind. She could imagine some of the possibilities...anorexia, some form of cancer or other deadly illness. Sighing, she tried to alleviate those fears. "It's just that...since the attack...I've had some trouble with eating. I...I keep thinking of blood." "My God!" exclaimed Sara. "What are we doing in an Italian restaurant then?" Suppressing a sudden urge to giggle, Nat replied, "I'm trying to work it out...and for some reason I don't have as much trouble with Italian as I do with other things." Sara looked at her dubiously, and asked, "But what is it doing to your job?" ~What the hell?~ thought Nat. "Actually, I'm on vacation under duress," she confessed. Mouth opening in dismay, Sara said, "What's going to happen when you get back?" "I don't know," answered Nat truthfully. Their food was brought, and both began picking at it, Nat much more carefully than Sara. After a few minutes of prandial appreciation, Sara tentatively mentioned, "Amy said you were considering moving here." Nat groaned inwardly, wishing that she had never agreed to think about it. "I don't know...there's a lot to consider." "That policeman...what was his name? Nick?" Sara queried gently. "Yes," agreed Nat, wondering just *how* much Amy had told her mother. Deciding that full disclosure would be better, she continued, "It's pretty much disintegrated between us...not that there ever really *was* an 'us.' Still, I don't know..." Nat finished lamely, her doubts suddenly skewing toward the other direction. "Well," said Sara, focusing on her plate. "I took the liberty of checking at the university...and there are *two* teaching positions open that you could probably fill." "Two?" Nodding, Sara explained. "With all the high-profile DNA and forensic-science based trials lately, there has apparently been a surge of interest in your field." Nat digested that bit of information. Suddenly, things seemed to be moving even further out of her control...but once again, it was something of a relief. Perhaps she should just go with the flow for a change and let the currents and eddies of life take her where they would. "I don't know," she said uncertainly. "Nat," Sara began, sounding far surer than she had since Nat had arrived. "I know I'm only your sister-in-law ...or whatever one calls a sister-in-law after the person making us in-laws dies...but you're the closest thing besides Amy that I have to family. And we're the closest thing *you* have to family. Whatever has happened or is happening to you in Toronto is wearing you down. I don't know if you should move out here because of it, but at least check out the teaching positions at the university before you decide against it. What can it hurt?" Gaping at the surprising speech, Nat felt her eyes moisten with emotion. "Nothing," she answered tightly. "It can't hurt anything to check it out." She watched Sara smile with slight embarrassment, and suddenly realized that there was a great deal of Sara in Amy, as well as Richard. Reaching over to cover Sara's hand with her own, Nat said, "And as to what we should call each other now that Richard's gone? Just plain 'sister' sounds good to me." **** Two days later, Nat sat quietly on the couch and watched as Sara and Amy went about a typical Saturday. She had spent the past few days interviewing at the university, and it had gone ridiculously well. The University of British Columbia was the second largest college in Canada, and already had an adequate Forensic Science program; however, with the media coverage given the Simpson trial, among others, the department was expanding. Nat had an opportunity to be a part of that. She had met with all the appropriate people, and had been given a firm job offer. Now all that needed to be done was for Nat to accept or reject it. It was, she realized, the answer to most, if not all, of her current problems. She wouldn't have to be around blood, bad memories, or Nick. What she would get to be around was her family and hordes of eager young minds wanting to learn. Her work had long since been suffering, and it was good to think that she might be able to make a difference again. Only in the past day had the epiphany hit her that she had been burned out for quite some time on her job. When she considered what she did for a living, it amazed her that she hadn't burned out years ago. Maybe the distraction of dealing with Nick was the only thing that had prevented it. Nick...what was she going to do about him? Angrily, she refused to deal with the emotional aspects of their relationship and focused solely on their quest for a cure. It wasn't, she realized, necessary for her to be near him for there to be a cure, technology being what it was. There was absolutely nothing to hold her to Toronto, and absolutely no reason why she shouldn't move here to Vancouver. She listened to the sounds of Sara puttering around in the kitchen, and the strains of Amy's music drifting into the living room. It was all so...normal, even without Richard. It was quite possibly the closest thing to a normal life and family that Natalie was going to get. Remembering what Laura had written in her journal, what Serena had warned her of, and even LaCroix's insidious monologues...suddenly the choice was obvious. **** Nick and Adam entered the precinct grimly, not looking forward to reporting the latest to Reese. A third Poison Ivy victim had been found...this time a 23-year-old Caucasian woman. Once more, aside from the general age, the poison ivy, and the killing style, there was absolutely nothing to link the victims and there were no leads whatsoever. Preparing to try to take the brunt of the Captain's displeasure, Nick stopped, frozen by the sight of the woman who had been filling nearly his every waking thought since her abrupt departure last week. "...of course we hate to lose you, Doc," Reese was telling her. "But it sounds like it's the best move for you." Nick felt his stomach clench in dread at the Captain's words, and nearly plastered Adam to the wall in his rush to get closer. Seeing his detectives, and the particularly frantic expression on Knight's face, Reese gave Natalie a look meant to convey strength, and barked, "Sakai! My office now." Adam glanced at Nick and Nat and almost gratefully followed Reese. "Nat..." began Nick uncertainly, not wanting to accept the reality of what he had just overheard. "I'm surprised you're back so soon...pleasantly, of course," he added lamely, unnerved by Natalie's stoic demeanor. It was quite possible, he reminded himself as he stared hopefully at Nat, that her leaving her job did not mean she was leaving Toronto...leaving *him*. There were other jobs in Toronto, after all. Feeling as though she were watching him from a great distance, Nat could plainly see his every thought flicker across his face. She was unwilling to play the game any longer than necessary, and bluntly said, "I'm moving to Vancouver." Though she had striven to modulate her tones with calmness, Nick still looked as though he had been sucker-punched. Nat felt the definite beginnings of a tension headache and used that fact as a reminder of *why* she was making the move. "I've been offered a teaching position at the University of British Columbia...to start next term. I've come back to wrap up loose ends, train up my successor, and so on." She tried to sound offhand about it, as though she didn't have the residual doubts that she did. With vague desperation, Nick blurted, "Are you sure this is wise? I mean, with all that's happened lately... don't you think you should wait before making a snap decision on something as important as this?" Anger flared in her as she stared at him. "First of all," she half-lied, "this *isn't* a snap decision. There are a lot of advantages to this, with being near my only family being the top one! Secondly, even if I were to change my mind, my superiors here have given me the option to withdraw my resignation at any time." Cutting off each word for emphasis, Nat added, "But I'm *not* changing my mind." Looking nothing so much like a little boy lost, Nick asked plaintively, "But what about us?" "Us?" Nat deliberately misunderstood. "I'll still work on a cure...in my free time. We don't have to live in the same city to do that." "How can you be sure that I'll follow your regimen?" Nick pointed out. "That," snapped Nat, "is not *my* problem." She rubbed her temple, unhappy with how the whole conversation was going, and chiding herself for expecting more from Nick. Did she really think he would give her his blessing, encourage her, be *happy* for her? Shaking her head, she walked away. Nick watched her go. The only thing restraining him from following her was the thought that he would drive her further away. At least she wasn't planning on cutting off all contact...yet. She said she would keep helping him and as long as there was some contact, there *had* to be hope, he told himself, trying not to think of past tenuous contacts he had once held onto, yet had only ended in despair. -{-{-{@ He had returned home, not knowing where else to go. Among the few precious belongings that he kept always with him was a pile of letters...letters from his beloved sister Fleur. He had read with happiness of her marriage to a local knight, cried blood tears upon Janette's shoulders when written of his mother's death, rejoiced at the announcement of his nephew's birth, and regretted the report of the untimely death of Fleur's husband. Since then, she had lived under the forbearance of her husband's kin in a small house in the town. Nicholas planned to take her and her son away. He would be their provider and take care of them. They would be a family. He arrived shortly after nightfall and sought out their house. Finding it, he stared entranced through the window at the sight of his sister rocking her small son. The boy, Andre, was little more than a toddler, and Nicholas' heart leapt at his first sight of his nephew. He imagined teaching him how to hunt and fight, smiling. His vampiric hearing brought him the soft melodious voice of Fleur singing to her son, and he awaited its finish before daring to knock and enter his new life. As its last notes died, however, Fleur rose and blew out all the candles, save the one she used to light her way. "Off to bed for us both, Andre," she told her child. "For we must rise tomorrow for church." "Fowers!" the boy chirped. Laughing, Fleur agreed, "Yes, and flowers. We shall go look for the fresh wildflower blooms after church." The two went up the stairs, and back out of Nicholas' life as he realized that they were of the day, while he was but a creature of night. He had no place in their world of mornings and wildflowers. He had no place in church. And he would not wish them a place in *his* world. Suppressing a howl of despair lest he frighten them, Nicholas disappeared into the night. -{-{-{@ (to be continued) -------------------------------------------- For more information or to participate in the Forever Knight Virtual 4th Season, write to V4S@fkfanfic.com.