Title: Parties Happen (1/2) Author: Cousin Shelley Faction: Cousins Date: Tuesday, November 9th, 2004 Time: Around 10:00pm Before: Parties Happen (2/2) Disclaimers: All participants used with permission. Brandi and Rhonda climbed out of the white commuter van with the words, "Architectural Enthusiasts of Ontario" emblazoned on the side. They staggered more than walked into the lobby of CERK dirty, disheveled, and NOT amused. "Pizza ... this was NOT worth one little pizza!" Brandi was explaining in an irritated manner. "Never, ever volunteer for anything during a war, especially for one little pizza!" "But, I was hungry! Those sandwiches...." Rhonda trailed off, shuddering with the memory of the culinary nightmare Cousin Shelley had made for lunch. She made an involuntary hairball noise in her throat. "Hairball?" Bonnie asked brightly from the receptionist's desk. "Uh, no, bad food," Rhonda replied, recovering herself. "What time is the party?" Bonnie shuffled through hundreds of small, multicolored and shaped Post-It notes around her desk. "Ah, yes, here it is ... Party at the UF Hive, 10pm." "10pm??" Brandi asked, eyes popping out. "But, it's nine now!" "Here, better take the blue Post-It note of speed dressing then!" Rhonda rolled her eyes and idly wondered just what it was about the receptionist position that drove people Post-It insane. Grabbing the small blue circle of paper just in case it really would help, she and Brandi hurried off to get ready. ---------------------------------- The lobby of CERK was full of Cousins in various states of dress. Cousin Shelley had opted to wear her usual blue jeans and t-shirt, although she *had* consented to putting on the new sneakers rather than the pair that looked like a mangled dog toy ... on a good day. "New Sneakers, Shelley?" Arletta asked with a grin. "You are looking downright Ravenette!" "This is about as much fashion sense as I have, I'm afraid," the Cousinly Janitor replied with a smile. "Of course, you look absolutely wonderful yourself," she added, noting Arletta's long dark purple skirt and bright purple sweatshirt. "Won't the other 2/3 of Cerberus mind?" she asked, indicating the white lettering on the shirt bearing the CERK union logo 'I.N.S.A.N.E'. "They are ... uh, getting used to it." "I guess Janette won't find us *nearly* as acceptable now as she did in the last war, huh?" "No, I guess not." At that, the two laughed. In the last war, they had been forced into high-fashion clothing by Janette in LaCroix's body and neither had forgotten it. Looking around the lobby, a lot of others hadn't forgotten the forced fashion-sense either. "Rhonda, Brandi, over here!" Arletta called out. She had been worried they wouldn't make it after their day at the monastery. Taking a quick look at the two, Arletta and Shelley realized two things. First, checking every rock in the monastery had probably NOT gone really well. Second, they also were suffering from a lack of fashion. Brandi had on gray slacks and a black sweatshirt and Rhonda was decked out in dark blue pants and a red sweater. She stumbled a few times on the way over. "Are you okay, Rhonda?" Arletta asked the tall Cousin. "Tired," she mumbled back. "Rocks. Lots of rocks. How many rocks can one building have? Never wanna see another rock...." She kept on mumbling under her breath while Shelley and Arletta tried to ignore her. Brandi contented herself with glaring at the two. An obviously pregnant woman waddled up in a white t-shirt and the obligatory maternity khaki overalls. Her feet were clad in backless sneakers with glitter all over them. "Hi,I'mCousinBecky,nice tomeetyou,where'sthebathroom?" she said, all in one breath. Shelley pointed across the lobby and the woman waddled off again. "I'm impressed," Shelley commented, watching her go. "I thought *I* had the worst fashion sense of all the Cousins...." "She didn't look *that* bad ... well, except for those sneakers. They were true works of art," Arletta said. Brandi glared. Rhonda mumbled. After recovering from the amazing glitter maternity sneakers, Arletta asked, "Has everyone been briefed?" At Brandi's confused glare and Rhonda's questioning mumbling, she began to whisper to them in hushed tones. After a few minutes, Brandi glared in a sneaky way and Rhonda mumbled with an evil grin. The amazing glittery maternity sneakers returned, carrying the very pregnant Becky with them. "Thanks for pointing me in the right direction! Going to the UF party?" "Yes, and will your sneakers ... uh, you be going too?" Shelley asked politely, staring down at those hypnotic shoes. "Yes, but I can't really drive like this," she said, pointing to her oversized stomach. "Can I get a ride with you?" "We'd need to take the limo then," Arletta joked, "With LaCroix in it as well!" Shelley suddenly pictured herself sitting in *the* limo, next to *him*. Without much warning, she tottered, turned white, and promptly passed out cold. Her last thought was that LaCroix would *hate* those amazing sneakers and the glitter they were bound to leave all over the limo. ---------------- "Shelley? Shelley??" Arletta called as she dumped a glass of cold water over the cousin. Shelley sputtered, dripped several times, and sat up. "What happened?" she managed to get out. "I don't know, all I said was we would have to take the limo...." "Don't say it!" Becky hissed. "Look at her!" Shelley had turned white again and was weaving dangerously. Arletta tried to change the conversation to get Shelley's mind off LaCroix and his limo. "I supposed we can all fit in my car, if you don't mind a little bit of stuff I have in there...." "Little bit?" Rhonda mumbled. "I am NOT sitting with the chair again," Brandi announced, glaring. "I'm sure we can all squeeze in, if we just cooperate," Becky said brightly. Shelley was feeling better and managed to get to her feet once again. But, being rather sneaky by nature and knowing what Arletta's car was like, she announced, "Well, I still feel woozy, so I think I need to sit in the front seat again." "Perfectly reasonable," Becky replied with a concerned look. "I'm sure the three of us can squeeze into the back!" Brandi glared. This time, so did Rhonda. Arletta, sensing imminent doom, said, "I'll go get the car!" and ran out the front door. ------------------- Arriving at the UF Hive, Shelley and Arletta exited the Saturn with apparent ease. The back seat, however, looked like a page out of some demented book about strange world records. In this case, it appeared the participants were out to break the record for the most people in a rear seat with an upside down desk chair ... pregnancy division. After Brandi, Rhonda, and the very pregnant Becky of the amazing shoes piled out, a fourth, previously unseen woman fell to the street with a thump. About 5 feet tall, she was dressed all in black; black boots, ripped black jeans, and a faded black shirt. The others just stared at her, wondering where she came from. "Who are you?" Brandi squeaked out, worried this was some kind of strange attack. It WAS war, after all. "Where did you come from?" asked Becky accusingly. "Um, that woman over there was sitting on me," the stranger said, pointing at Rhonda. "And my name is Cousin Marci. I couldn't find a ride to the party and you were all climbing in the car. I heard someone say something about plenty of room, so I climbed in too. I tried to introduce myself, but it was kind of hard from my ... errr, position...." Everyone turned and looked at Becky. "What??" she cried. "I thought there WOULD be lots of room...." she trailed off, kicking one of the toes of the amazing maternity glitter sneakers into the sidewalk. All eyes followed the shoe for a while. Recovering once again from the shoes, Arletta said, "Well, no harm done. We're all here now. Remember to be back by midnight, no later. We are leaving at midnight!" She gave a meaningful look to the others and they nodded their understanding. Even the newly arrived Cousin Marci grinned knowingly. Brandi, Rhonda, Becky, Marci, Arletta, and Shelley then walked, stumbled, waddled, sauntered, limped, and dripped into the party, respectively. The hive was a bustle of activity by the time the six cousins managed to enter. Food was in abundance, as was the drink. Many factions were present and most seemed to be relaxed and enjoying the fun. The amazing maternity glitter sneakers scattered light like a disco ball, which added to the party atmosphere. Becky, unaware of their amazing properties, promptly took them to the bathroom with her. Marci spotted the table containing the caffeinated beverages, obviously put there for the Dark Perks. She headed over and grabbed two Mountain Dews(tm), one for each hand. "Caffeine, one is never enough!" she announced a bit too loudly. Several Dark Perks smiled at her and nodded in agreement. Then she thought she spotted Bri across the room talking with Cousin Will and Cousin Mary and headed off in that direction. Rhonda was slowly, but surely curing her overtiredness with a large glass of wine. Brandi was sitting with her and they were whispering and giggling. Across the crowded room, the two spotted Parker, a new cousin who was eager to help out with anything needed ... particularly evil plotting. She held up a cube of sugar with a wicked grin, and all three of them burst into laughter over the reference. Arletta and Shelley got some food and drink and went to sit down together. Shelley was doing her best to avoid LaCroix and enjoy the evening, so she took a wine cooler. Who said the Cousinly Janitor couldn't relax a little too? "Uh, Shelley? When did you start drinking?" "Oh, I don't really, but I tried a wine cooler over the summer and found I liked it! A little relaxation is just what the doctor ordered, I think!" she said, taking a big gulp. "But, uhhh ... do you think that's wise? I mean, we just picked you up off the floor a little while ago...." Shelley glared at Arletta. "Yeah, because you had to give me that mental picture of the limo...." "But, it was a JOKE!" Shelley was turning pale again just thinking about it, so she took another large swig of her wine cooler. She felt instantly better and began to tap her foot to the music. Two more gulps and the bottle was empty. "Awww ... look at that! I need another!" "Shelley, you DON'T drink ... ever. Don't you think you need to slow down just a bit?" Arletta's answer was an empty seat as Shelley went in search of more wine coolers. Shrugging, Arletta moved off herself to mingle and watch the amazing sneakers refract the light. ---------- As the evening wore on, most of the cousins began to get a little restless. At 11:30, there was an undercurrent of meaningful glances that was hard to miss. "It's 11:30, doncha know?" Becky said to Rhonda and Shelley, who had found each other an hour ago and were having wine chugging contests. Shelley stared at the amazing maternity glitter sneakers and said, "Wow, I thinksh they are talking tooth me." "Naw, thash the wine coolrz," Rhonda slurred and the two burst out laughing. Becky moved on and found Arletta. "Arletta, it's getting kind of late," she said, glad to find someone acting semi-normal. That kind of behavior seemed in short supply suddenly. "What are they doing?" Arletta asked, staring past Becky. "Oh, Shelley and Rhonda had a wine chugging contest. I'm afraid they are a bit tipsy," she said with a shrug. "No, I mean *them*," Arletta replied, pointing. Brandi, Parker, and Marci were behind Becky, crouched down, and staring at the amazing maternity glitter sneakers. Becky sighed. "I don't know WHY these affect cousins the way they do!" "Well," Arletta replied glancing at her watch, "we need to get everyone together and leave." "I agree," Becky said. "But first, where's the nearest bathroom?" Arletta sighed and pointed left. Glancing at her watch again, she scanned the room. Bob was nowhere in sight; that couldn't be a good sign. Spotting Shelley and Rhonda, she headed in that direction. "Shelley, we have to go ... NOW," she told the much-too-rosy cheeked janitor. "S'ok, Letta, we've got timesh," came the reply. Arletta groaned inwardly. This was not going to be as easy as she thought. Looking at Rhonda, who at the moment had a goofy smile on her face and a lampshade on her head, she realized she needed some help. "Becky!" she called out to the woman exiting the bathroom with the three other cousins in tow. Becky waved back and hurried over. Well, as quickly as her waddle would allow. "What do you need?" "Help me get Rhonda and Shelley back to the car, okay?" Becky thought for a moment, then took off one shoe and threw it towards the door. Instantly, her three followers ran after it and brought it back to her. "This isn't working," she whined. Arletta again glanced at her watch. It was only 5 minutes to midnight; they HAD to leave. Suddenly, inspiration hit. It was mean. It was cruel. She was a Light Cousin. But, in times of war, sometimes drastic measures had to be taken. "Becky, you go out the door and back to the car ... the three brainless ... errr, I mean *focused* ones will follow you. I'll get Rhonda and Shelley and meet you there." Becky smiled, relieved she had the easier ones to deal with. She'd heard rumors about Shelley in wartime, and they weren't pretty. Making sure Brandi, Marci, and Parker were behind her, she headed off towards the car. Arletta looked at Rhonda. She didn't supposed the UF would miss the lampshade too much. "Pssst! Rhonda!" "Yeth, Arled - Arlesh - uh, leaderish one?" Rhonda replied, the fringe on the lampshade swaying slightly. "Would you like some more wine?" "Would I!" Now the lampshade was bobbing up and down. "Go out to my car, Becky will show you where it is!" With that, Rhonda and the lampshade bolted for the door at speeds Arletta would have guessed neither could go safely. Against the odds, they made it without incident. One down, one to go. Shelley was looking at her with a big grin on her face. "Don't thinksh I'm fallin' fer that one!" she proclaimed, still smiling. "Oh, no, I know you are MUCH too smart to fall for THAT one," Arletta said, smiling to herself now. "Hey look! Isn't that LaCroix? I wonder why he's heading this way with his credit card out?" At that, Shelley turned rather pale. "Uhhh, I thinksh I changed my mind! Letsh get outta here!" Shelley took off towards the door with a very relieved Arletta following. Glancing at her watch once more, she noticed it was 12:05. "Hmmm ... I wonder if something is wrong?" she muttered to herself as she hustled Shelley out the door.